If you had to name the friends you have that you trust with anything, how many could you name? How many loyal friends? I mean a true friend who you can trust, a friend that has your best interests at heart. A friend that you can let your walls down with.
I think if you could name a handful that would be amazing, unusual but amazing.
Why do some of us have such a hard time making that type of friend? Why do we have such a problem letting our walls down and letting people in?
I can tell you my story………
Growing up I was a very shy, reserved person. I was friendly to everyone, and I enjoyed spending time with my friends that I made throughout school. However, I got burned, and that was it for me.
I would say that my circle was large but grew smaller in my teen years. It was during those years that I realized my self-esteem was quite low. It wasn’t until my adult years that I realized why. You see, there was one friend in my circle that would constantly put the others of us down. While we didn’t realize it, we were being belittled. We would just take it with a “grain of salt”, or so we thought. We endured years of this “friend” making it all about them while we stood back in the shadows. At that age, of course we were interested in boys, and this friend would “in so many words” tell us that the boys we would encounter were only interested in her. I look back and remember us laughing, but now I realize what an impact it had on us (hence the low self-esteem). The years of this “torture” as I now call it, accompanied by the fact that another close friend betrayed me with a boyfriend (yes, I finally got a boyfriend of my own LOL)made me shy away from “friends” completely. While these events do seem trivial and insignificant (not for someone with anxiety), they eventually made an impact on my life. I thought that there was no one that could be trusted, so I just started keeping to myself, and forbid myself from letting anyone in.
Current day:
I thank God every day for the friends I have now! I realize that the people in my life back then weren’t friends. A friend doesn’t treat you that way. I friend doesn’t tear you down. I think going through all of that makes me appreciate the friends I have today even more. It took me years to let people in, and I am still a “tough nut to crack”, you see, old scars run deep. However, I promise you that if you stick with me, and I let you in that I will be the best friend you’ve ever had. I am thoughtful, loyal, and I love my friends with all my heart! I cherish my friends today. I LOVE MY TRIBE!
What do you think?
